The Murder at Gingerbread Grange: a Miss Necco Mystery Pastiche

For those who were unaware of it, a mysterious homicide recently occurred at Gingerbread Grange, our  seasonal fantasy country house. While the Picky Eater and her parents were briefly detained as persons of interest, Inspector Raisinet of the local constabulary was unable to satisfactorily weave the myriad of confusing clues and red herrings into a coherent case against them.

The facts of the case are these:

In the wee hours of a day in late December, while all the residents of Gingerbread Grange were absent - the Chemist out dancing the night away, the Cook on an emergency run to a 24-hour grocery for powdered sugar, and the Maker ensconced in the bowels of the house employing his extensive collection of mechanical snakes in an attempt to clear the cookie frosting from the sewer line.

When the Maker emerged after several hours of futile efforts, he found a stranger lying in the yard, dead as a doornail - impaled by a candy corn through the heart!

The man's name was Mr. Biscotto, and for several reasons he had become anathema to the family. They believed that he was more than likely the culprit in several unfortunate tragedies which had rocked the family in recent weeks-

the loss of a precious recipe, a secret formula, and a dispute concerning a laser patent.

While the police were able to identify a number of clues- A puddle of melted butter on the candy stone path, short-circuited headlights on the rented vintage VW bug parked next to the Grange, the purloined Nancy Drew recipe in Mr. Biscotto’s pocket, Mr. Biscotto’s nefarious activities as a patent thief – there were many unanswered questions – For instance, was the moose a laser gingerbread cutout decoy? 

Further research into his background by an informant to the constabulary revealed these shocking details concerning Mr. Biscotto:

"I  contacted one of the world's greatest drummers and amateur private detective, one Ginger Baker. He ran a background check on your Mr. Biscotto...real name, Anthony Biscotti, aka Naughty Tony Biscotti. As it turns out, Naughty Biscotti had quite a way with the ladies. Late night cupboard rendezvous with everyone from Betty Crocker to Dolly Madison. He made one mistake during his final tryst with...Mrs. Butterworth. Mr. Butterworth found out. You really never see the old boy around the kitchen. He maintains a very low profile and, unfortunately, is insanely jealous. The butter puddle tells all, as he was wounded during his fatal scuffle with Naughty Biscotti. If Inspector Raisenet aspires to any grapeness at all, he should bring in Mr. Butterworth for questioning and check his cholesterol type against that found in the puddle. He just might find something that will stick to Butterworth."

Into the breech steps Miss Necco, a cookie doppelganger of Agatha Christie's wonderful Miss Marple. A favorite author with the female members of our household, we are much indebted to Dame Christie for inspiring this set piece.

Despite the informant's Mrs. Butterworth allegations, Miss Necco's remains confident in her analysis and solution to the mystery:

“I was reminded of a terrible accident that occurred sometime back to a knitting acquaintance of mine in my village, Prune-on-Hudson. The poor woman tripped on her front step and impaled herself on her knitting needle. Fortunately, she had the good sense not to try to pull it out, and they got her to the infirmary in good time and the doctors were able to repair her injury.

The culprits in this crime wanted us to believe that that was what happened here. The man “stabbed through the heart” with a candy corn. But, here and there, the clues began to evince a pattern to me, and, yes, I do believe that I am correct.

I was first struck by the detail that all members of the household were absent or indisposed when the murder took place. With so many valuable secrets floating around the Gingerbread Grange it seemed most unsuitable that no one was left on guard. I had to conclude that Mr. Biscotto was meant to think that he could enter the house and pilfer it. What he didn’t know was that a most devious ambush was in store for him.

As he snuck up to the house, intending to use the candy corn to break and enter the Grange, he tripped a hidden alarm secreted in the path and was blinded by a laser beamed from the headlights of the old car which was, of course, why they appeared to be burnt out. Sightless and befuddled, he stumbled in the puddle of butter, slipped, and fell onto his sword, as it were.

So, it was a combination of the hidden security apparatus at the Gingerbread Grange and Mr. Biscotto’s own wicked intentions that brought about his demise.

As to the overly ingenious residents of the Gingerbread Grange, I do hope that they decide that their home would be better suited to more mundane purposes, and that they remove themselves from the premises at their earliest convenience, before dear doltish Inspector Raisinet manages to put more than two and two together and notices the many instances of triangulation in this case.

With that, I do think that it is time for me to get back to my cottage and make sure that that my silly housemaid Elsie hasn’t run off with the butcher’s assistant. You have no idea what intrigue and illicit romance can go on in a small village beneath the nose of even the most observant old spinster!”

The All-Purpose Multi-Flavored Icebox Cookie

Cranberry Orange Pecan cookies

It's not too late to make those holiday cookies you've been fantasizing about- not with Gourmet's circa 2003 handy dandy all purpose Basic Butter Cookie recipe, which can be modified to suit your heart's desire. You can even divide one recipe in half and make two flavors. Throw together some extra rolls of dough, cover the plastic wrap with holiday paper, tie up the ends with ribbon, and you've got the perfect hostess gift. Throw a few extra rolls (well wrapped) into the freezer for emergencies. Just don't over bake them! The dough even tastes great unbaked if you can overcome your fear of uncooked egg poisoning.

Without further ado, the all-purpose icebox cookie -

Basic Butter Cookie
(adapted from Gourmet Magazine, December 2003)
Makes three dozen 2"cookies.

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp vanilla

Garnish: coarse or sanding sugar

Whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl.

Beat the butter and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer at medium-high speed until the mixture is pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Beat in the egg and vanilla.

Reduce the speed to low, and add flour mixture, mixing until it is just combined.

Stir or knead in your chosen additions & flavorings (see below) until they are evenly distributed throughout the dough.

Form dough into a 12-inch log about 2 inches in diameter on a sheet of plastic wrap and roll up the dough in the plastic wrap. Chill the dough until firm, at least 4 hours.

Put the  oven racks in upper and lower thirds of oven and preheat oven to 375°F.

With a heavy knife, cut 1/4-inch-thick slices from the log and arrange the slices about 1 inch apart on two parchment lined cookie sheets. (Keep the remainder of the log chilled, still wrapped in plastic wrap).

Cookie roll in process

If you are garnishing with coarse sugar, sprinkle slices with it before placing them on the cookie sheets.

Bake the cookies, switching position of sheets halfway through baking, until the edges are golden, 12 to 15 minutes total. Do not over bake. Cool 3 minutes, then transfer with a metal spatula to racks to cool completely. Make more cookies with remaining dough.

The dough log can be chilled for up to five days in the refrigerator or frozen, double wrapped in plastic for one month. Thaw frozen dough in the refrigerator just until it can be sliced.

Mexican Chopped Chocolate

Additions:

Picky Eater choices -

Cranberry Orange cookies: Add 1 cup dried cranberries, 1 cup chopped pecans, and 2 Tb orange zest. Sprinkle the cookies before baking with coarse sugar.

Mexican Chocolate cookies: Stir 2 tsp. ground cinnamon and a pinch of cayenne pepper into 100 grams of finely chopped bittersweet chocolate, then add to the butter cookie dough. Sprinkle the cookies slices with cinnamon sugar before baking.

Other possible additions are one cup of any of the following: currants, poppy or sesame seeds, cocoa nibs, mini chocolate chips, or chopped walnuts, almonds, pecans or pistachios. Lemon or orange zest would be welcome with either of the first three, and cocoa nibs and chocolate chips would enjoy the company of a little cinnamon or 2 Tb of finely ground coffee. Mix and match whatever suits your fancy, it all tastes good!

Gourmet Magazine's suggestions -
Lemon cookies: Stir 2 Tb fresh lemon juice and 1 Tb lemon zest into the basic cookie dough.
Almond Spice cookies: Add 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, 1/4 tsp cloves, and 1/4 tsp ground ginger with the flour mixture, then stir in 1 cup slivered almonds.

Have a rugelach (arugula?)

We had an entertaining homophonic episode at dinner the other night. Confusion ensued when our diners were exhorted to "eat a rugelach" which was misinterpreted to mean "eat arugula," understandable given that the Picky Eater had made an arugula salad for dinner and I was serving my great grandmother's nut strudels aka rugelach, for dessert.

Have a rugelach!

Either choice was a good option, depending upon the number of calories one wanted to ingest. The rugelach are devilishly addictive, and it's easy to consume half a dozen (circa 900 calories) in the blink of an eye. The salad of greens, roasted cauliflower, pomegranate seeds, and pecans had fewer calories naturally, plus the bonus of more staying power, less fat, good flavor, and tons of nutrients. While the Picky Eater may have the will power to eschew the rugelach, I had to content myself with the compromise of eating some of both (not at the same time!)

Or, arugala

Start with the salad-
Arugula Salad with Roasted Cauliflower et al.
I like my salads heavy on the solids and light on the greens, but it's your salad and your call......

4-6 cups mixed arugula & baby spinach, washed, dried & stemmed
1 small head of cauliflower
1 cup whole pecans
1 cup fresh pomegranate seeds
1/4 c olive oil
Salt & pepper

Dressing:
2:1 ratio of olive oil & lemon juice (or a light balsamic or champagne vinegar). (I used 1/3 cup oil to 3 Tb of balsamic vinegar.)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Toast the pecans in a roasting pan for about five minutes, until just turning. Put the nuts aside to cool, then chop them into good sized chunks. Keep the oven on for the cauliflower.

Wash the cauliflower and cut it into bite-size florets. Wipe out the roasting pan that you used for the pecans and toss the cauliflower in it with the 1/4 cup olive oil and a generous amount of salt & pepper. Bake for 20-25 minutes until just tender and nicely browned, checking and tossing every ten minutes or so. Remove from the roasting pan and allow the cauliflower to cool.

Just before serving whisk the olive oil and citrus or vinegar together until emulsified.

Toss the greens, cauliflower, nuts, and pomegranate seeds together with the viniagrette. Add salt & pepper to taste.

Serves 4 or one Picky Eater.

And finish with "a rugelach:"
Like many family recipe's, my great grandmother Pesse's rugelach come with a story attached to them. An acquaintance, Mrs. Friedman,  refused to share her Hungarian strudel dough recipe, and as an immigrant from the Ukraine, my great grandmother was unfamiliar with it. The secretive lady always  made her strudels when she had company coming, and so Pesse went visiting a few days before her friend expected out-of-town guests. Pesse chatted with her and watched her make the cookies, then went right home, made a batch herself, and they took their rightful place as a legendary family dessert!

Sour cream pastry rolled paper thin and topped with jelly, nuts, cinnamon sugar.- ready to roll.
 Blurry photo looks like it belongs in my mother's 1952 vintage Gourmet Cookbook!

Pesse Zeff’s Nut Strudels
Be sure to make the dough the day before you want to bake.

5 c. flour
1 lb. butter, cut into 1” cubes
3 egg yolks
2 c. sour cream
1 t. vanilla
1 TB baking powder
1 TB sugar

Filling:
Jelly (fruit or orange marmalade)
Nuts, finely chopped
2 c. sugar mixed with
2 t. cinnamon

Sift the dry ingredients together in a large bowl. Cut the butter in with a pastry knife until the pieces are the size of large peas. Mix in the cream, egg yolks, and vanilla. Form the dough into a flat disk, wrap it in plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight.

Cut the dough into 8 equal portions. Roll each piece until very thin (almost like paper!) on a large piece of parchment paper or a floured board. On one long side only, spread a thin line of jelly about 2” wide. Sprinkle the entire surface of the dough with nuts and cinnamon sugar.

Starting at the jelly strip end, gently roll the pastry into a neat loaf, folding in the side edges after you make the first fold over the jelly.

Place on an ungreased cookie sheet, and prick the top of each roll well with a fork, to allow steam to escape during baking. Sprinkle the tops of the loaves with more cinnamon sugar.

Bake in a 350° oven for 20-25 minutes, until lightly browned. Cut into 1” slices on the diagonal. Use a very sharp knife to avoid cracking. These freeze well if they make it to that far.

Makes about 8 dozen.

Omit the sugar and vanilla and you can use this dough for appetizer strudels with a mushroom duxelle filling and grated cheese scattered on the dough. Bake as directed with a some grated cheese added on top during the last 10 minutes of baking.

In the Kitchen Lab with the Picky Eater

The Picky Eater was telling me that I really could stop experimenting with desserts-  I have a bunch of great ones that always turn out splendidly, and I should just stick with those. (These comments were the result of a couple of less than stellar Thanksgiving dessert attempts.)

She, on the other hand, I was informed, was still searching for her dessert repertoire, and the following recipe is a recent successful experiment:

Smooth & creamy thanks to Cuisinart!

Homemade Nutella
(Adapted from The Kitchn and, well, logic)
Most recipes don’t have you put any actual chocolate in, I thought I’d add some.  This isn’t terribly sweet (especially compared to the commercial stuff), so add more sugar if you want.
Makes ~1 cup, or the perfect amount to swirl in a cake

1 ½ cups raw almonds
¼ cup couverture disks, 70% (or half a dark chocolate bar you’ve got laying around)
¼ cup cocoa powder
½ cup powdered sugar
¼ tsp salt
Sunflower oil, as needed (almond, hazelnut, or peanut oils would be lovely, but not necessary)

Toast the almonds in a skillet until dark and fragrant.  Place in the food processor along with the chocolate and process until paste-like.  Add the cocoa powder, sugar, and salt, and blend some more.  Dribble in oil until a spreadable consistency.

Refrigerate for up to 1 week, but good luck with that.  Or, swirl into the following cake:

Vanilla-Almond Bundt with Homemade Nutella

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, plus extra for the pan
1 ¾ cups granulated sugar
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for the pan
2 tsps baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 large eggs
½ tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp almond extract (not necessary, but nice)
¾ cup buttermilk*

Preheat the oven to 350º.  Butter and flour a 10-cup capacity bundt pan thoroughly—I used a springform style for easier release and the cake still stuck some.

Cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy, approx. 3 to 5 minutes.  With the mixer on low speed, add the eggs one at a time, scraping down the bowl between each addition.  Beat in the vanilla and almond extracts.

Combined the flour, salt, and baking powder in a large bowl, and add 1/3 to batter, beating until just combined, then half the buttermilk, 1/3 flour, remaining buttermilk, and remaining flour.   Scrape down occasionally and don’t mix any more than you have to—I like to do the last flour addition by hand.

Place half the batter in the pan, smooth, and make a small channel.  Add one batch homemade nutella or about one cup of store-bought nutella and cover with the remaining batter.  Swirl thoroughly (I wished I’d done more, I ended up with a cake with nutella filling instead of a swirl) and smooth the top of the cake.  Bake for 55-60 minutes, turning halfway through.  The cake is done as soon as a tester comes out clean of batter.

Let sit for 10-15 minutes to cool, and then turn out of the pan.

*If you haven’t got buttermilk, either add a couple spoonfuls of plain yogurt to enough milk to make buttermilk consistency (what I did) or add 1 tsp lemon juice to a cup of milk.  We’re more likely to have yogurt (and it’s actually more like cultured buttermilk), so I used 1 ½ Tb greek yogurt in enough milk to make ¾ cup, and it worked brilliantly

This cake bakes up beautifully, with a nice contrast between the almost bittersweet nutella and the cake. Unfortunately we didn't get an interior shot.

Serve to a large party of teenage engineers and watch it disappear.