The Murder at Gingerbread Grange: a Miss Necco Mystery Pastiche

For those who were unaware of it, a mysterious homicide recently occurred at Gingerbread Grange, our  seasonal fantasy country house. While the Picky Eater and her parents were briefly detained as persons of interest, Inspector Raisinet of the local constabulary was unable to satisfactorily weave the myriad of confusing clues and red herrings into a coherent case against them.

The facts of the case are these:

In the wee hours of a day in late December, while all the residents of Gingerbread Grange were absent - the Chemist out dancing the night away, the Cook on an emergency run to a 24-hour grocery for powdered sugar, and the Maker ensconced in the bowels of the house employing his extensive collection of mechanical snakes in an attempt to clear the cookie frosting from the sewer line.

When the Maker emerged after several hours of futile efforts, he found a stranger lying in the yard, dead as a doornail - impaled by a candy corn through the heart!

The man's name was Mr. Biscotto, and for several reasons he had become anathema to the family. They believed that he was more than likely the culprit in several unfortunate tragedies which had rocked the family in recent weeks-

the loss of a precious recipe, a secret formula, and a dispute concerning a laser patent.

While the police were able to identify a number of clues- A puddle of melted butter on the candy stone path, short-circuited headlights on the rented vintage VW bug parked next to the Grange, the purloined Nancy Drew recipe in Mr. Biscotto’s pocket, Mr. Biscotto’s nefarious activities as a patent thief – there were many unanswered questions – For instance, was the moose a laser gingerbread cutout decoy? 

Further research into his background by an informant to the constabulary revealed these shocking details concerning Mr. Biscotto:

"I  contacted one of the world's greatest drummers and amateur private detective, one Ginger Baker. He ran a background check on your Mr. Biscotto...real name, Anthony Biscotti, aka Naughty Tony Biscotti. As it turns out, Naughty Biscotti had quite a way with the ladies. Late night cupboard rendezvous with everyone from Betty Crocker to Dolly Madison. He made one mistake during his final tryst with...Mrs. Butterworth. Mr. Butterworth found out. You really never see the old boy around the kitchen. He maintains a very low profile and, unfortunately, is insanely jealous. The butter puddle tells all, as he was wounded during his fatal scuffle with Naughty Biscotti. If Inspector Raisenet aspires to any grapeness at all, he should bring in Mr. Butterworth for questioning and check his cholesterol type against that found in the puddle. He just might find something that will stick to Butterworth."

Into the breech steps Miss Necco, a cookie doppelganger of Agatha Christie's wonderful Miss Marple. A favorite author with the female members of our household, we are much indebted to Dame Christie for inspiring this set piece.

Despite the informant's Mrs. Butterworth allegations, Miss Necco's remains confident in her analysis and solution to the mystery:

“I was reminded of a terrible accident that occurred sometime back to a knitting acquaintance of mine in my village, Prune-on-Hudson. The poor woman tripped on her front step and impaled herself on her knitting needle. Fortunately, she had the good sense not to try to pull it out, and they got her to the infirmary in good time and the doctors were able to repair her injury.

The culprits in this crime wanted us to believe that that was what happened here. The man “stabbed through the heart” with a candy corn. But, here and there, the clues began to evince a pattern to me, and, yes, I do believe that I am correct.

I was first struck by the detail that all members of the household were absent or indisposed when the murder took place. With so many valuable secrets floating around the Gingerbread Grange it seemed most unsuitable that no one was left on guard. I had to conclude that Mr. Biscotto was meant to think that he could enter the house and pilfer it. What he didn’t know was that a most devious ambush was in store for him.

As he snuck up to the house, intending to use the candy corn to break and enter the Grange, he tripped a hidden alarm secreted in the path and was blinded by a laser beamed from the headlights of the old car which was, of course, why they appeared to be burnt out. Sightless and befuddled, he stumbled in the puddle of butter, slipped, and fell onto his sword, as it were.

So, it was a combination of the hidden security apparatus at the Gingerbread Grange and Mr. Biscotto’s own wicked intentions that brought about his demise.

As to the overly ingenious residents of the Gingerbread Grange, I do hope that they decide that their home would be better suited to more mundane purposes, and that they remove themselves from the premises at their earliest convenience, before dear doltish Inspector Raisinet manages to put more than two and two together and notices the many instances of triangulation in this case.

With that, I do think that it is time for me to get back to my cottage and make sure that that my silly housemaid Elsie hasn’t run off with the butcher’s assistant. You have no idea what intrigue and illicit romance can go on in a small village beneath the nose of even the most observant old spinster!”

The All-Purpose Multi-Flavored Icebox Cookie

Cranberry Orange Pecan cookies

It's not too late to make those holiday cookies you've been fantasizing about- not with Gourmet's circa 2003 handy dandy all purpose Basic Butter Cookie recipe, which can be modified to suit your heart's desire. You can even divide one recipe in half and make two flavors. Throw together some extra rolls of dough, cover the plastic wrap with holiday paper, tie up the ends with ribbon, and you've got the perfect hostess gift. Throw a few extra rolls (well wrapped) into the freezer for emergencies. Just don't over bake them! The dough even tastes great unbaked if you can overcome your fear of uncooked egg poisoning.

Without further ado, the all-purpose icebox cookie -

Basic Butter Cookie
(adapted from Gourmet Magazine, December 2003)
Makes three dozen 2"cookies.

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp vanilla

Garnish: coarse or sanding sugar

Whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt in a small bowl.

Beat the butter and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer at medium-high speed until the mixture is pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Beat in the egg and vanilla.

Reduce the speed to low, and add flour mixture, mixing until it is just combined.

Stir or knead in your chosen additions & flavorings (see below) until they are evenly distributed throughout the dough.

Form dough into a 12-inch log about 2 inches in diameter on a sheet of plastic wrap and roll up the dough in the plastic wrap. Chill the dough until firm, at least 4 hours.

Put the  oven racks in upper and lower thirds of oven and preheat oven to 375°F.

With a heavy knife, cut 1/4-inch-thick slices from the log and arrange the slices about 1 inch apart on two parchment lined cookie sheets. (Keep the remainder of the log chilled, still wrapped in plastic wrap).

Cookie roll in process

If you are garnishing with coarse sugar, sprinkle slices with it before placing them on the cookie sheets.

Bake the cookies, switching position of sheets halfway through baking, until the edges are golden, 12 to 15 minutes total. Do not over bake. Cool 3 minutes, then transfer with a metal spatula to racks to cool completely. Make more cookies with remaining dough.

The dough log can be chilled for up to five days in the refrigerator or frozen, double wrapped in plastic for one month. Thaw frozen dough in the refrigerator just until it can be sliced.

Mexican Chopped Chocolate

Additions:

Picky Eater choices -

Cranberry Orange cookies: Add 1 cup dried cranberries, 1 cup chopped pecans, and 2 Tb orange zest. Sprinkle the cookies before baking with coarse sugar.

Mexican Chocolate cookies: Stir 2 tsp. ground cinnamon and a pinch of cayenne pepper into 100 grams of finely chopped bittersweet chocolate, then add to the butter cookie dough. Sprinkle the cookies slices with cinnamon sugar before baking.

Other possible additions are one cup of any of the following: currants, poppy or sesame seeds, cocoa nibs, mini chocolate chips, or chopped walnuts, almonds, pecans or pistachios. Lemon or orange zest would be welcome with either of the first three, and cocoa nibs and chocolate chips would enjoy the company of a little cinnamon or 2 Tb of finely ground coffee. Mix and match whatever suits your fancy, it all tastes good!

Gourmet Magazine's suggestions -
Lemon cookies: Stir 2 Tb fresh lemon juice and 1 Tb lemon zest into the basic cookie dough.
Almond Spice cookies: Add 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, 1/4 tsp cloves, and 1/4 tsp ground ginger with the flour mixture, then stir in 1 cup slivered almonds.

Have a rugelach (arugula?)

We had an entertaining homophonic episode at dinner the other night. Confusion ensued when our diners were exhorted to "eat a rugelach" which was misinterpreted to mean "eat arugula," understandable given that the Picky Eater had made an arugula salad for dinner and I was serving my great grandmother's nut strudels aka rugelach, for dessert.

Have a rugelach!

Either choice was a good option, depending upon the number of calories one wanted to ingest. The rugelach are devilishly addictive, and it's easy to consume half a dozen (circa 900 calories) in the blink of an eye. The salad of greens, roasted cauliflower, pomegranate seeds, and pecans had fewer calories naturally, plus the bonus of more staying power, less fat, good flavor, and tons of nutrients. While the Picky Eater may have the will power to eschew the rugelach, I had to content myself with the compromise of eating some of both (not at the same time!)

Or, arugala

Start with the salad-
Arugula Salad with Roasted Cauliflower et al.
I like my salads heavy on the solids and light on the greens, but it's your salad and your call......

4-6 cups mixed arugula & baby spinach, washed, dried & stemmed
1 small head of cauliflower
1 cup whole pecans
1 cup fresh pomegranate seeds
1/4 c olive oil
Salt & pepper

Dressing:
2:1 ratio of olive oil & lemon juice (or a light balsamic or champagne vinegar). (I used 1/3 cup oil to 3 Tb of balsamic vinegar.)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Toast the pecans in a roasting pan for about five minutes, until just turning. Put the nuts aside to cool, then chop them into good sized chunks. Keep the oven on for the cauliflower.

Wash the cauliflower and cut it into bite-size florets. Wipe out the roasting pan that you used for the pecans and toss the cauliflower in it with the 1/4 cup olive oil and a generous amount of salt & pepper. Bake for 20-25 minutes until just tender and nicely browned, checking and tossing every ten minutes or so. Remove from the roasting pan and allow the cauliflower to cool.

Just before serving whisk the olive oil and citrus or vinegar together until emulsified.

Toss the greens, cauliflower, nuts, and pomegranate seeds together with the viniagrette. Add salt & pepper to taste.

Serves 4 or one Picky Eater.

And finish with "a rugelach:"
Like many family recipe's, my great grandmother Pesse's rugelach come with a story attached to them. An acquaintance, Mrs. Friedman,  refused to share her Hungarian strudel dough recipe, and as an immigrant from the Ukraine, my great grandmother was unfamiliar with it. The secretive lady always  made her strudels when she had company coming, and so Pesse went visiting a few days before her friend expected out-of-town guests. Pesse chatted with her and watched her make the cookies, then went right home, made a batch herself, and they took their rightful place as a legendary family dessert!

Sour cream pastry rolled paper thin and topped with jelly, nuts, cinnamon sugar.- ready to roll.
 Blurry photo looks like it belongs in my mother's 1952 vintage Gourmet Cookbook!

Pesse Zeff’s Nut Strudels
Be sure to make the dough the day before you want to bake.

5 c. flour
1 lb. butter, cut into 1” cubes
3 egg yolks
2 c. sour cream
1 t. vanilla
1 TB baking powder
1 TB sugar

Filling:
Jelly (fruit or orange marmalade)
Nuts, finely chopped
2 c. sugar mixed with
2 t. cinnamon

Sift the dry ingredients together in a large bowl. Cut the butter in with a pastry knife until the pieces are the size of large peas. Mix in the cream, egg yolks, and vanilla. Form the dough into a flat disk, wrap it in plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight.

Cut the dough into 8 equal portions. Roll each piece until very thin (almost like paper!) on a large piece of parchment paper or a floured board. On one long side only, spread a thin line of jelly about 2” wide. Sprinkle the entire surface of the dough with nuts and cinnamon sugar.

Starting at the jelly strip end, gently roll the pastry into a neat loaf, folding in the side edges after you make the first fold over the jelly.

Place on an ungreased cookie sheet, and prick the top of each roll well with a fork, to allow steam to escape during baking. Sprinkle the tops of the loaves with more cinnamon sugar.

Bake in a 350° oven for 20-25 minutes, until lightly browned. Cut into 1” slices on the diagonal. Use a very sharp knife to avoid cracking. These freeze well if they make it to that far.

Makes about 8 dozen.

Omit the sugar and vanilla and you can use this dough for appetizer strudels with a mushroom duxelle filling and grated cheese scattered on the dough. Bake as directed with a some grated cheese added on top during the last 10 minutes of baking.

In the Kitchen Lab with the Picky Eater

The Picky Eater was telling me that I really could stop experimenting with desserts-  I have a bunch of great ones that always turn out splendidly, and I should just stick with those. (These comments were the result of a couple of less than stellar Thanksgiving dessert attempts.)

She, on the other hand, I was informed, was still searching for her dessert repertoire, and the following recipe is a recent successful experiment:

Smooth & creamy thanks to Cuisinart!

Homemade Nutella
(Adapted from The Kitchn and, well, logic)
Most recipes don’t have you put any actual chocolate in, I thought I’d add some.  This isn’t terribly sweet (especially compared to the commercial stuff), so add more sugar if you want.
Makes ~1 cup, or the perfect amount to swirl in a cake

1 ½ cups raw almonds
¼ cup couverture disks, 70% (or half a dark chocolate bar you’ve got laying around)
¼ cup cocoa powder
½ cup powdered sugar
¼ tsp salt
Sunflower oil, as needed (almond, hazelnut, or peanut oils would be lovely, but not necessary)

Toast the almonds in a skillet until dark and fragrant.  Place in the food processor along with the chocolate and process until paste-like.  Add the cocoa powder, sugar, and salt, and blend some more.  Dribble in oil until a spreadable consistency.

Refrigerate for up to 1 week, but good luck with that.  Or, swirl into the following cake:

Vanilla-Almond Bundt with Homemade Nutella

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, plus extra for the pan
1 ¾ cups granulated sugar
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for the pan
2 tsps baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 large eggs
½ tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp almond extract (not necessary, but nice)
¾ cup buttermilk*

Preheat the oven to 350º.  Butter and flour a 10-cup capacity bundt pan thoroughly—I used a springform style for easier release and the cake still stuck some.

Cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy, approx. 3 to 5 minutes.  With the mixer on low speed, add the eggs one at a time, scraping down the bowl between each addition.  Beat in the vanilla and almond extracts.

Combined the flour, salt, and baking powder in a large bowl, and add 1/3 to batter, beating until just combined, then half the buttermilk, 1/3 flour, remaining buttermilk, and remaining flour.   Scrape down occasionally and don’t mix any more than you have to—I like to do the last flour addition by hand.

Place half the batter in the pan, smooth, and make a small channel.  Add one batch homemade nutella or about one cup of store-bought nutella and cover with the remaining batter.  Swirl thoroughly (I wished I’d done more, I ended up with a cake with nutella filling instead of a swirl) and smooth the top of the cake.  Bake for 55-60 minutes, turning halfway through.  The cake is done as soon as a tester comes out clean of batter.

Let sit for 10-15 minutes to cool, and then turn out of the pan.

*If you haven’t got buttermilk, either add a couple spoonfuls of plain yogurt to enough milk to make buttermilk consistency (what I did) or add 1 tsp lemon juice to a cup of milk.  We’re more likely to have yogurt (and it’s actually more like cultured buttermilk), so I used 1 ½ Tb greek yogurt in enough milk to make ¾ cup, and it worked brilliantly

This cake bakes up beautifully, with a nice contrast between the almost bittersweet nutella and the cake. Unfortunately we didn't get an interior shot.

Serve to a large party of teenage engineers and watch it disappear.

In the Kitchens at Hogwarts

Young witch hard at work on her O.W.L. examinations.
Note the shrunken mandrake's head.

The Picky Eater and I have a long and most pleasant association with that esteemed wizarding institution The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, she as a prefect and Head Girl in her year, and I as an instructor at our annual Hogwarts short course. During the week-long course life takes on the soothing routine found in schools where the students are happy and excited to attend, the staff are benignly voluble, and the food is excellent. While life at the "real" Hogwarts may be filled with drama, strife, and uncertainty, it's all good fun, lots of wizardry crafts & potions, quidditch matches, and scrumptious snacks for elevenses during the Short Course.

In the stead of Mssrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, we offer not a Marauders' Map, but the makings of the aforementioned elevenses and a bevy of potions which would even satisfy Prof. Snape. After a long morning of classwork in Charms, Divination, Herbology, or Ancient Runes and a brisk quidditch practice, young witches and wizards are ready to tuck in. Elevenses always includes a bracing cup of tea or cocoa, toasted English muffins, crumpets or scones with butter, lemon curd and jelly, and Hagrid's famous Rockcakes. (Although we can assure you that these cakes are quite delicious and most decidedly not the jawbreakers that Hagrid bakes!) Pass the recipes on to your house elves, or in an elve-less household like Mrs. Weasley's, make them yourself.

While acceptable English muffins (and even crumpets) can be conveniently procured from your local purveyor, store-bought scones pale in comparison to those conjured up in the Hogwarts kitchen, best baked and served the same day.

Scones with lemon curd & crumpets with raspberry-lavender preserves.

Tea Scones
Using cake flour gives these scones a tender crumb; but you will also have excellent results with unbleached flour. Makes 8 generous sized scones. *See the note about cutting smaller ones.

2 c. cake or unbleached flour
1/4 c. sugar
1 Tb baking powder
1/4 t. salt
6 Tb chilled butter, cut into pieces
1 egg
1/2 c. cold whole milk

Preheat the oven to 400°.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and lightly sprinkle it with flour.

Combine the  flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl. Add the butter and rub it with your fingertips until the mixture is like course meal.

Beat the egg and milk together in a bowl. Pour over the dry ingredients, and combine with a fork. Gather the dough into a ball.

Turn the dough out on a floured surface and shape into an 8” round about 3/4” thick. Transfer it to the baking sheet. Cut the dough to make 8 equal wedges and separate them on the cookie sheet. *Alternately, you can use a simply shaped cookie cutter, like a heart, to cut out smaller individual scones.

Scone dough cut in wedges before separating.

Bake about 15 minutes, until the scones are firm to the touch in the center, and golden brown. Smaller scones may have a shorter baking time. Start checking at about 10 minutes.
Serve warm or at room temperature.  Recipe adapted from the May 1998 issue of Bon Appetit.

Lemon Curd 
Just keep stirring! If you work hard enough you won't need to strain out any pesky lumps. Worth the effort.

3 large eggs
1/2 - 3/4 c. sugar (use less for more tartness)
1/4 c. fresh squeezed lemon juice
2 Tb unsalted butter
2 Tb grated lemon zest

In the top of a double boiler over simmering water, whisk the eggs and sugar until smooth. Add the other ingredients and cook over medium heat, whisking continuously, until the mixture resembles slightly whipped cream.

Remove from the heat, cover, and stir the lemon curd frequently as it cools. When cool, strain (if necessary) and store in the refrigerator for up to four days.
Makes 1 ½ cups.  Adapted from The Village Baker’s Wife by Gayle Ortiz.

Rockcakes iced & cooling.

Hagrid's Rockcakes
Spicy, tender and guaranteed not to break any teeth. It's easy to eat four or five of these hardy drop cookies in the blink of an eye (or the swish of a wand.) They freeze nicely if well wrapped.
Makes 3 dozen cookies.

1 c. butter, softened
1 1/2 cups brown sugar, packed
3 eggs
3 c. flour
1/2 t. salt
1 t. baking soda
2 t. cinnamon
1 t. cloves
1 c. nuts, chopped
1 c. raisins

Preheat the oven to 375°.

Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time. Sift the dry ingredients together, and stir into the butter mixture. Then stir in the nuts and raisins.

Drop teaspoonfuls of dough on greased (or parchment papered) cookie sheets about 2” apart. Bake 8-10 minutes, until golden around the edges. These cookies are better slightly underdone.

While still hot, gently brush the cookies with this glaze:
Vanilla Glaze
1 1/2 c. powdered sugar
2 Tb. soft butter
2 Tb plus 2 t. light cream
1 t. vanilla
pinch of salt

Mix ingredients in a small bowl until smooth. The mixture should be the consistency of mayonnaise. Cover when not in use.

Edible Potions
Potions Class, in the absence of Snape, offers a splendid opportunity for young witches & wizards to devise their own snacks and potables. We offer two examples of exemplary potion lessons- the "Eat-Your-Veggies Potion" based on a favorite recipe of Mrs. Wesley's from the tome Charm Your Own Cheese, and a simple draught known as the "Babbling Beverage."

In concocting both potions, insist that the results be totally tasty and edible, forewarning students that they will be eating and drinking them as their elevenses snack. If your class is divided into houses (we like to name our houses Unicorn, Dragon, Phoenix, and Hippogriff to avoid disappointment) members of each house can work cooperatively on their own batch of potion. Trust me, you won't want, or need, any more!

Eat-Your-Veggies Potion
Potion base:
1 cup sour cream
1 cup yogurt

Stir the potion base ingredients together and distribute a portion to each house or wizard in a small bowl or cauldron.
Add any desired combination of these herbs and flavorings to taste. Encourage young scholars to be prudent when flavoring their potions- adding components in small doses until a pleasurable balance is attained.

• Fresh and/or herbs: Parsley, cilantro, basil, thyme, oregano, tarragon                                             Make sure that the fresh herbs have been washed. They can be chopped fine with a knife or chopper or, more safely, snipped with a clean pair of scissors.
• Soy sauce
• Olive oil
• Salt & pepper
• Balsamic vinegar
• Worcestershire sauce
• Mustard- yellow or Dijon
• Hot sauce

Serve with crackers, breadsticks, and crudites- sliced carrots, celery sticks, bell pepper, cucumber, etc. Encourage witches and wizards to try potions made by other houses.

Babbling Beverage

Be sure to warn your students that overindulgence may result in the dreaded motor mouth syndrome

Beverage base:

Offer a reasonable assortment of the following: Ginger ale, 7-up, apple juice, sparkling water.

Measure 2-3 cups of mixed-as-desired beverage base into a large cauldron or pitcher.

Add some or all of these additions to make a tasty brew:

• Spoonfuls of undiluted frozen juice concentrate- orange or lemonade
• Flavored Kool aid mix (various, blue is always nice)
• Spices & flavorings- vanilla, almond extract, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg

Add ice and ladle into cups. Enjoy and try not to babble uncontrollably.

A Visit to Hogsmeade- 

Young witches and wizards delight in their weekend visits to Hogsmeade, and are more than happy to pitch in and help Mr. Honeyduke replenish his stores. After a spell spent making magical candies, nothing is better than quaffing a tankard of pumpkin juice or butter beer at Madam Rosmerta's esteemed establishment, The Three Broomsticks.

It is possible for students to assist Mr. Honeyduke by making two of his best sellers- chocolate frogs and chocolate wands.

Chocolate Frogs & Wands

24 oz bag of chocolate chips

Gummi frogs

Bag of pretzel "Rods"

Colored cake decorating sprinkles

Double boiler

Inexpensive/disposable paint brushes

Parchment or wax paper

Melt the chocolate chips in the top of a double boiler over barely simmering water. Alternately, melt and transfer to a small crockpot for safer house elf working conditions.

Use the paintbrushes to coat the frogs with melted chocolate. Set on a piece of wax or parchment paper to cool.

Dip about half the length of the pretzel rods in the melted chocolate to coat. Hold vertically over melted chocolate to allow the excess to drip back into the pan. While the chocolate is still soft, hold the wand over wax/parchment paper or a plate and coat with the sprinkles. Cool until chocolate is hard on paper.

Pumpkin Juice

Icy cold, this is the young wizard's thirst quencher of choice.

Makes 4-6 servings

32 oz. bottle of apple juice

14 oz. can of canned pumpkin

2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg

optional: 1/4 cup honey

Measure about 1 cup of apple juice into a 2 qt pitcher, bowl or cauldron. Gradually beat in the canned pumpkin and about half of the honey, along with the cinnamon and nutmeg. Once the mixture is smooth, gradually add the remainder of the apple juice until well mixed. Taste and add additional spices and honey to taste. Serve over ice if desired. 

Butter Beer
The exact recipe for Butter Beer is a closely held secret, and much controversy surrounds it among its aficionados. Young witches and wizards seem happy to drink any of its many iterations.

For 4-6 servings

2 12 oz. bottles of cream soda (note: there appear to be many new gourmet varieties available which are less sickeningly sweet than the high volume manufacturers, and they will produce a much more palatable product)

1/2 cup whipping cream

1/4 cup caramel sauce (homemade** or store bought)

Chill the cream soda. Whip the cream in a clean bowl with either a hand or electric beater until it forms sturdy but not stiff peaks. (Note: young wizards may enjoy the novelty of operating a Muggle egg beater.) Gently stir in the caramel sauce, trying not to deflate the cream.

Fill a tall wine or beer glass with 4-6 oz. cream soda and add several large dollops of the caramel whipped cream. Clink glasses and enjoy.

Quick Butter Beer

Alternately, for a quicker brew, pour a quantity of cream soda over several scoops of butter caramel ice cream in a tall glass. Stir together gently and enjoy.

**Homemade Caramel Sauce

Quite a wizardly concoction in and of itself. Watch plain sugar and water transform themselves into nectar of the gods.

Makes 1 cup.

1 c. granulated sugar 

1/3 c. water 

An additional 1/3 to 1⁄2 c. water 

1 c. heavy cream

Boil the sugar and 1/3 cup water in a small heavy saucepan, swirling until the sugar is dissolved. Put a lid on the pan and boil slowly until the sugar bubbles thicken considerably.

Uncover and boil without stirring until the syrup begins to caramelize. Swirl the pan until the syrup is walnut brown. Remove from the heat, and continue to swirl. Avert your face and pour in the additional water.

Simmer, stirring frequently, until the caramel has melted into the water. Boil the mixture until it is a light syrup. Add the cream, blend in thoroughly, and boil, stirring, for 2-3 minutes to reduce the cream slightly. Serve warm or cold. 

Adapted from Julia and More Company by Julia Child.

Hogwarts in Gingerbread

Many young wizards and witches of our acquaintance enjoy rendering gingerbread house versions of Hogwarts. Shown below is a splendid rendition by our young friend Frank.

Can you spot Nagini, the Forbidden Forest, Hagrid & Nearly Headless Nick?

Eating Cleveland - Picky Eater Style

The Picky Eater had the good fortune to secure a summer internship at the flagship headquarters of Lubrizol, world renowned manufacturer of industrial lubricants and a Berkshire Hathaway company, in the Lake County (as in Lake Erie) suburbs just east of Cleveland. I really can't explain what she was doing, beyond what she seems to do best in both the kitchen and the lab- mixing unlikely ingredients together and making it work.

Despite her transport limitations (bicycle & public bus) in an auto oriented culture, she managed to hit a few of the high spots for dining during her sojourn in this rust belt metropolis, which she announced, prior to decamping there, "had a vibrant food scene."

Too much meat @ the Westside market!

Arriving with California sensibilities, the Picky Eater and her devoted mater quickly learned to follow their own instincts, rather than popular opinion, when it came to foodspotting. The highly touted historic Westside Market, overloaded with meat products, pierogies, commercially grown produce, and PEOPLE(!!) ran a distant 4th to the delights of the Saturday farmers market at Shaker Square, the University Heights Whole Foods, and her local suburban upscale grocery store, Heinen's.

Our two Saturday visits to the Farmers Market at Shaker Square were somewhat hindered by the onslaught of showers blowing off of the lake, which pretty much nixed the possibility of photos, but we loved seeing the local produce & producers. They were both somewhat different crowds from those at our local farmers market- homemade syrups, potatoes, meats, Amish and Mid-Western family farmers instead of nuts, Asian and Hispanic vegetables and ex-hippies. We loved the Mackenzie Creamery chevre-style goat cheeses, Chagrin Valley handmade soap, and the Shagbark Hickory syrup. Edible Cleveland, Northeast Ohio's edition of the locally focused food guide that has bloomed from coast to coast is a great source for farmers market locations and food purveyors in the area.

Wherever the Picky Eater ventures in the continental U.S., the local Whole Foods market is her home away from home. With limited internet access in her subterranean apartment, her regular Saturday routine was to ride her bike two miles to the eastern-most edge of Cuyahoga County, catch and transfer on two buses, and spend half the day availing herself of the free wi-fi and prepared vegetable dishes at the University Heights Whole Foods. While there are those ( like the Pater) who trash the Whole Foods concept on principle, in our travels we have been impressed by the efforts that are made to reflect local food mores, i.e. the Cleveland store is the first that I have ever seen to feature a "Smokehouse BBQ" hot foods bar and cook to order burgers and fries. (At our local Whole Foods it's burritos and udon.) I was disappointed that we left Cleveland before the launch of the cheesecake bar!

Bacon Chocolate Cupcakes @ Whole Foods!

In addition to the farmers market, Shaker Square offered two of our most promising restaurant finds in Cleveland- Sasa & Fire Food & Drink.

Sasa was a Cleveland-style Japanese izakaya with a cool dim gray-toned (my new favorite color) interior, the requisite bar, and intriguing menu listings like "Salt and Pepper Wild Norwegian Mackerel," "Kobe Beef Meatballs," "Panko Hamachi Cake," and its namesake "SASA Fire Roll (lobster, crawfish and masago salad with Chinese broccoli, topped with shrimp, spicy mayo, unagi sauce and furikake and served flambeed!)" Second of all, it included guilt-free veggie dishes for the Picky Eater like "Agadashi Tofu Salad" "Shishito Peppers Sauteed with a Szechwan Sauce," and plain old "Steamed Spinach." And, third of all, with a menu divided into small, medium & large size dishes, you are encourgaed to order as you go along, rather than drive yourself nuts (as I do) trying to figure out how much you want to eat up front. I decided to forgo any sushi (as the Picky Eater would say, "This is the Midwest, after all.") as well as their signature "Sasa Fries" (too guilt inducing), but did enjoy the aforementioned mackerel and Kobe meatballs, as well as the Creme Brulee Trio for dessert.

                           

Sasa knows the way to the Picky Eater's heart!

Sasa Restaurant
13120 Shaker Square
Cleveland, OH 44120
216.767.1111

Fire Food & Drink's stripped down rustic interior (and food) hardly hint of Cleveland, and would feel right at home in San Francisco, Los Angeles, or New York, especially with its locally sourced produce, meats & cheeses. The big draw are the tasty results when meats & breads are thrown against the walls of the resident clay tandoor. There is even an outdoor seating area for those precious balmy nights when the winds on Lake Erie have taken a siesta.
We had two lovely meals there, including the following-
~ Il Follo Cuvee Rustat prosecco, Italy NV - for me nothing beats starting a meal with prosecco
~ Artisanal cheese plate (Ohio Bucheron, Wisconsin Buttermilk Blue, St. Nectaire) seasonal fruits, jams, nuts and croustades - Picky Eater stole all the candied walnuts

Baba ganooj, etc. @ Fire

~ Heirloom tomatoes with baba ganooj, sweet pickled cucumbers, clay oven bread and herb salad - Picky Eater main course
~ Tandoor roasted local pork chop accompanied by roasted rittman orchards fruit, arugula, spoonbread and bacon jus - a 3" thick chop, they do meat right in the Midwest.

The Picky Eater refused to share her Fire Split!

~ The Fire Split, a fudge brownie with salted caramel ice cream and brûléed banana - the Picky Eater blew caution to the winds and indulged.
~ Popcorn ice cream sundae, popcorn ice cream with caramel sauce and candied pecans - one of their signature dishes, but eclipsed by the split.
Fire Food & Drink
13220 Shaker Square
Cleveland, OH 44120
216.921.3473

A little further afield is Taza, a reliable Picky Eater pick introduced to her by her Lubrizol mentor Mark. Located in an upscale suburban Woodmere shopping center, it offers huge portions of fresh Lebanese food. The Picky Eater stuck to her regimen with the Lebanese Salata, greens with the usual Middle eastern salad veggies, kalamata olives, and feta, all tossed in a lemon-herb dressing. I had to take half of my "Vegetarian Feast" (tabouli, hummus, baba ghanoush, and falafel) home.
Taza
28601 Chagrin Blvd
Woodmere, OH 44122
(216) 464-4000

Even further afield is the picturesque village of Chagrin Falls, sort of the Carmel of Northeast Ohio, with an impressive double-sided waterfall (the "Falls") highlighting the center of town. With several intriguing restaurants & stores, and an epic ice cream shop, Chagrin Falls makes for an inviting excursion. The Picky Eater picked up a pair of cool designer pants on sale at Juicy Lucy, and I drooled over an ersatz antique chocolate sign that was too big to transport home for the kitchen in White Magnolia, a home decor & accessories shop.
On a return solo visit while the P.E. was slaving away in the lab, I enjoyed an outstanding lunch of goat cheese dumplings with a mu shu flavored mushroom & vegetable saute and seared scallops with bok choy and black rice flavored with a sweet tamari that added notes of blackberries, ginger, and balsamic vinegar at Umami, a tiny 8 table Pan-Asian restaurant on Main Street. It was fun (on the way to the bathroom) to pass by the tiny kitchen and see the handcrafted dishes being assembled.

Umami seared scallops

Umami
42 North Main Street
Chagrin Falls, OH 44022
440.247.8600

I held back from dessert at Umami in order to treat myself to a double scoop of ice cream (Salted Caramel & Queen City Cayenne) at Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream, famous from here to Pittsburgh and beyond. (A pint of Jeni's goes for $12.00 at my local Mollie Stone's Market.) And splendid it was! On my next visit to Pittsburgh when I have access to the Picky Eater's freezer, I will treat myself to a 4-pack of ice cream sandwiches, because even I can't manage four in one sitting.

Jeni's Splendid Ice Cream Scoop Shop
67 North Main Street
Chagrin Falls, OH 44022
440-247-2064
Other outlets in Central and Northeast Ohio, Illinois, Tennessee, & Georgia. Also available nationally packed in dry ice via FedEx delivery.

Other places we loved in Cleveland-
The Cleveland Museum of Art
A museum of the first rank with a collection built in the first half of the 20th century. A famous antiquities collection, tapestries to rival the Metropolitan (just not so many of them), early Renaissance masters, a Caravaggio, and more modern masters- Picasso, Monet, Van Gogh. A new wing has been skillfully appended to the old with an enormous glass enclosed landscaped atrium, which must be a real delight during the long Ohio winter. On the day we visited, it was set up for an after hours wedding, and was absolutely magical.

Cleveland Museum of Art
11150 East Boulevard
Cleveland, Ohio 44106
Free admission; closed on Monday

Frank Gehry's Peter B. Lewis Building at Case Western University
11119 Bellflower Road
Cleveland, Ohio 44106
Amazing. One of those cases where a picture is indeed worth a thousand words! Luckily, we stayed one night at the nearby Glidden House Hotel (also recommended) and could saunter over and around this modern masterpiece at leisure.

Cleveland places that I loved whose doors the Picky Eater would never darken-

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Almost, but not quite worth a special trip to Cleveland. Especially appealing to those of us who survived the 60's. Memorabilia and artifacts, including Elvis's 1975 Lincoln Continental, pieces of Otis Redding's airplane which were recovered from the crash, Janis Joplin's psychedelic Porsche, and Jerry Garcia's custom-made guitars. Great music going 24/7. I loved watching dads sharing their favorites with their kids- clearly the kids got big doses of the music at home. (In our house when the Picky Eater was growing up, Otis Redding was known as the "Shake Guy," and she used to dance to him standing on her daddy's shoes.)

Janis Joplin by R. Crumb c. 1970

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
1100 E 9th St  Cleveland, OH 44114
(216) 781-7625

Slyman's Deli
Immortalized by the Bare Naked Ladies in "Slyman's Corned Beef- Rhymes with Flyman," Cleveland institution Slyman's Restaurant offers 5" thick corned beef sandwiches that defy your mouth. The only solution is to eat half the meat of half the sandwich with your fingers, chomp down the rest and take the other half home for dinner. Pungent dill pickles, hot mustard and horseradish, a non-stop auto meat slicer, and gruff but genial wait staff make Slyman's an "A"  list stop for this deli deprived Californian.
Slyman's Restaurant
3106 St Clair Ave NE  Cleveland, OH 44114
(216) 621-3760
Open Mon-Fri 6 am - 2 pm; Sat 9 am - 1 pm

Internships may come and go, but we'll always remember the fun we had exploring the Cleveland food scene, just as vibrant as predicted. In honor of the Picky Eater's sojourn, I experimented with a batch of Ohio's official state candy- the Buckeye. Sort of a spherical Reese's peanut butter cup, this borrowed Smitten Kitchen recipe is a breeze until the chocolate dipping begins- definitely more of a challenge than it first appears!

Buckeyes
(from Smitten Kitchen)
Makes at least 3 dozen

1/4 cup (2 ounces) cream cheese, softened
1 1/2 cups peanut butter (smooth, but you can use chunky if you are looking for more texture)
1 cup graham cracker crumbs (from about 14 graham crackers)
1/4 t salt
3 cups powdered sugar
10 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
12 ounces dark chocolate (60 to 72%), coarsely chopped

Make the filling:
In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the cream cheese and peanut butter together until combined. Add the graham cracker crumbs and beat for 10 seconds. Add the salt, sugar and butter, and mix on the lowest speed until it stops floating off everywhere, then increase the speed until the ingredients are combined. Scrape down the whole bowl well, then mix again. The mixture will be quite sturdy and a little dry — perfect for shaping. Set it aside while you prepare the coating.

Make the coating:
Melt the chocolate either over a double boiler, stirring until it is completely smooth. Let it cool to tepid (about 100 degrees) while you shape the peanut butter centers.

Assemble the candies:
 Line a sheet pan with parchment paper. Scoop out about one tablespoon’s worth of filling and use your hands to form it into a ball. Place the ball on the prepared sheet and repeat the process until all of the candies have been shaped. They can sit close to each other but make sure they are not touching.

Using a fork or large skewer, dip each ball into the chocolate and roll it about so that almost the entire candy is coating, leaving a small circle uncoated. Play around with a few practice pieces; it's easiest to stick the skewer in the side, angle the bowl towards you and make sure it became submerged as you roll the candy around.

Chill the buckeyes until they are set, about 30 minutes.

Fantasy Birthday Dinner

I had a small birthday over the weekend, small as in not one of those birthday years that end in zero or five.Truth be told, and I really never thought that I would say this, the older you get the smaller and less significant those birthday years become.

My mother promulgated a great sense of celebration and specialness to her children's birthdays. This was related to the fact that when it came time for her own mother, a child immigrant whose real birthdate was lost in a Ukranian shtetl, to choose a date for her birth, she chose the same day as my mother's. Growing up I always rather liked the idea that my mother and grandmother had the same birthday, but my mother absolutely hated it, and felt that her special day had been "stolen" by her mother. Consequently, doing what many parents do to heal themselves, we were always given fabulous birthday parties with lots of guests, gifts, and most of all, spectacular tiered birthday cakes, baked & decorated by my mother herself, cake decorating being her chosen artistic outlet. As an adult, I would never consider going to work on my birthday unless it was totally unavoidable, and usually try to pack the day doing things that I love - nice meals, friends, shopping, a spa visit, etc.

Last week I started mulling over what I would cook for a special fantasy birthday dinner, and with my chef de barbeque's assistance it came to pass in an abbreviated but most satisfactory form:

Menu

Fromage d'Affinois & Asiago fresca with panzanella crackers

Gazpacho Andaluz

Popovers

Bistecca alla Fiorentina

Vegetables en brochette

Al Di La's Torta di Pere (Bittersweet Chocolate & Pear Cake)

The man of mystery himself- Mr. Vincent Price

The gazpacho recipe is my adaptation of one served at Botin, a restaurant in Madrid founded c. 1725. Yea these many long years ago (well, about 30 years ago) I actually ate gazpacho at Botin, but the recipe comes via a truly delightful vintage 1960's cookbook- A Treasury of Great Recipes by Mary and Vincent Price. Yes that Vincent Price, star of many a bloodcurdling B monster movie, who evidently was quite a gourmand when he wasn't sipping blood. The cookbook is a compendium of recipes from what were at the time some of the world's most illustrious restaurants, many of which, sadly have closed their doors- from dinner at Tour d'Argent in Paris to breakfast on the Santa Fe Super Chief. Probably the most amusing recipe is the one for frankfurters from the newly opened (at the time) LA Dodgers stadium, Chavez Ravine.

Gazpacho Andaluz
serves 4-6.

6 slices white bread, cubed
3 ripe tomatoes, peeled, seeded & chopped
1 cucumber, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 quart tomato juice

1 clove garlic
2 Tb wine vinegar
1/2 t. cumin
salt & pepper
3 Tb olive oil

Garnishes
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
1 lg. tomato
1 cucumber
Baguette slices rubbed with garlic and olive oil, and toasted. (Recipe here.)

Layer the bread and chopped vegetables in a large bowl. Pour tomato juice over all. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour.

Puree the soup in a food processor with the garlic, olive oil, vinegar, and cumin. Correct the seasonings. Chill for at least 2 hours.

Chop garnish vegetables and mix together. Sprinkle on top of each serving of soup. Serve cold with baguette croutons.

Hard to match the satisfaction of pulling these babies out of the oven!

Perfect Popovers
Palo Alto baking goddess Flo Braker's recipe. Declared by our guests to be better than Neiman's (Marcus, that is.) To prevent sticking, be sure to generously butter the muffin cups and extract the popovers asap.

2 eggs
1 c. whole milk at room temp
1 Tb melted butter
1 c. flour
½ t. salt

Adjust the oven rack to the lower third of the oven; and preheat the oven to 400°. Generously grease 6 popover cups or a large muffin size tin with butter.

Combine the eggs, milk, melted butter, flour, and salt in a blender or food processor; process for about 40 seconds. Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl a couple of times and blend until the mixture is completely smooth.

To make by hand, whisk together the eggs, milk, and butter in a large bowl. Add the flour and salt and beat until very smooth.

Pour the batter into the cups or tin, filling each ½ to 2/3 full. Bake until the popovers are puffed and golden brown, 35-40 minutes. Do not open the oven door during baking or the popovers will collapse.

Serve with butter and jam of your choice.
Makes 6-8 popovers.  (Flo Braker; SF Chronicle, 1993.)

Bistecca alla Fiorentina
We have gorged on many wonderful specimens of this fine thick cut Porterhouse steak. The one eaten at Mamma Gina in Florence in 2007 has been memorialized on our computerized photo frame, and more recently a nice one was shared among three of us at perennial favorite Cantinetta Luca in Carmel last July. This recipe is courtesy of Saveur magazine, issue #157.
Serves 4


2 (1½″- 2 " thick) bone-in porterhouse steaks (3½ lb.) at room temperature
¼ cup olive oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
2 sprigs rosemary
Lemon wedges, for serving

Heat a charcoal grill or set a gas grill to high; bank the coals or turn off burner on one side. Brush the steaks with half the oil and season with salt and pepper. Grill the steaks on the hottest part of grill, flipping once, until browned, 4-6 minutes. Using rosemary sprigs as a brush, baste the steaks with the remaining oil. Cook to desired doneness, 4-6 minutes more for medium rare, or until an instant-read thermometer reads 125°. If the outside starts to burn before the steak is fully cooked, move to the cooler side of the grill until done. Let steaks rest 5 minutes; slice against the grain along the bone. Serve with lemon wedges.

Vegetables en brochette
For 4 people. Just made this up on the fly.

4 small zucchini, ends removed & cut in 1" chunks
8-10 large mushrooms, stems trimmed & cut in half vertically
8 (or more) 1" diameter boiling potatoes
1 red bell pepper, seeded & cut in 1 1/2" squares
1 green bell pepper, seeded & cut in 1 1/2" squares
olive oil for brushing
salt & pepper

6-8 12" wooden skewers, soaked for 1 hour in water

Parboil the potatoes for about 20 minutes until they are just cooked. Alternately thread the vegetables on skewers. Brush with olive oil and cook on the grill along with the meat, turning once or twice. cooking time is about ten minutes.


Al Di La's Pear- Chocolate Cake from Smitten Kitchen failed quality control- too done on the outside and underdone in the middle. Having had an underdone cake disaster earlier in the week, I went overboard, or rather, overbaked. Will try it again soon using a tube pan. Instead I offer a tried and true family recipe
Nadine’s Cheesecake (photo to follow)
While people from the East Coast usually say this isn’t rich enough, it's rich enough for us! The legend in our family is that this recipe was the origin of Saralee’s cheesecake. In the 1940's a member of the family from Los Angeles that started Saralee was hospitalized in Fresno, and my grandmother didn't know her well enough to justify buying her flowers, so she baked her a cheesecake instead. When the woman recovered she asked for the recipe, and little did my grandmother know what would become of it!

1 1/2 boxes vanilla wafers
1/2 c. butter, melted
3/4 c. sugar
3 Tb flour
1/4 t. salt
24 oz. cream cheese, room temp.
6 eggs, separated
2 t. vanilla
1 1/2 c. sour cream

Preheat the oven to 325°.
Crumble the vanilla wafers into crumbs and mix with the butter. Press them onto the bottom and sides of a 9 1/2” springform pan. Refrigerate.

Blend the sugar, flour, salt, and cream cheese together until well mixed, then add the egg yolks, vanilla, and sour cream. Blend well, until smooth.

Beat the egg whites until stiff, and fold them into the cream cheese mixture. Pour the batter into the crumb-lined pan. Bake 1 1/4 – 1 1/2 hours, until nicely browned on top. The cake may crack a little. When done, cover the cake with a clean dishtowel and leave in the turned off oven until it has cooled. Refrigerate until serving time.

Sprinkle top with powdered sugar before serving.